A Wednesday Meditation in May 2022

Transcribed guided meditation and talk.

So, a warm summer welcome to all of you. Hope you have enjoyed the good weather. I have at least as much as I could. And welcome to folks on the internet. Let's meditate.

Let us begin by giving attention to the fact that we exist. You are here now.

You as a physical being, as a spiritual being, as awareness, you are a representative of awareness. Your body is a representative of awareness. The totality of awareness, the totality of consciousness, wouldn't be total without you. Therefore, the consciousness that you experience, is the same as the total consciousness. It is the same consciousness. It is the same awareness that you have, and that the totality has. So, allow yourself to simply be a representative of this awareness.

You're not separate. You're not a separate, conscious entity. In the deepest of your foundation, you are the great consciousness, even though you don't experience it. But you can relax into it, allow yourself to loosen up the limits of who you think you are.

The Divine life which is everywhere, doesn't stop at the border of your body, your skin or your thoughts. The Divine life penetrates everything. It is everything including you. But in our normal perception we try to hold on to the thought that we are limited.

Don't think or feel yourself as size, form, volume. Think of yourself as the core, the center, the middle and seek to find the center in your experience right now. Not the surface, not the form, but the actual conscious experience, the center of your conscious experience. And from that point, you are aware. The center deep within, behind the layers of thought and movement, is the core of your being. Formless. The only way to experience it, is to be still, utterly still, allowing things to be as they are while you sit immovable. Not sitting somewhere in the back, not sitting somewhere in the front or to the sides, but silently sitting in the middle, immovable.

When it becomes too difficult and challenging to be completely still, you can let your attention dwell upon your breath, letting each breath come from the very center, manifesting into a full breath and as you breathe out, you return back into the center. Each breath is a manifestation of a potential in the core of your being manifesting into your breath. Allow yourself to sit with that intimacy of being with the breath as it continuously gives birth to your existence.

Now the meditation is coming to an end. Give thanks to your body, to your breath, to the Divine life, as it flows through you.

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So, my dear friends, as usual I give full speed. It's challenging. It's a challenging meditation. I hope that you get something out of this. I hope you find some of that stillness, some of that peace that I'm pointing to. Yeah, great. It's good. Now we have been meeting 14 times, this is the 14th Wednesday, right? So, I try my best to ease into the topic of meditation gradually, right? Kind of trying to begin from the beginning and well, I wouldn't say until the end but at least we take it to a level where we come closer to the truth, the experience of truth and that is not easy. That is very, very, very difficult. But we try. We make an attempt to get there, to experience that and paradoxically, in order to try to get there, we must stop trying, right? So I hope you got a sense of that in this meditation. But there's no getting there without having some background. So, the intellectual knowledge of why we're doing this is important. And that's why we have many Wednesdays and not just one. It would be great if we could just meet once and boom, we're there. "Oh, I got it, I got this, I got the truth, I got the silence, I got the center! Great!" It's not that simple. The truth is wrapped up into layers of gift paper, like thoughts, emotions, ideas, concepts, words, languages, form. And the truth is none of that. Not even the most amazing, wonderful ideas and concepts and thoughts can be said to be the truth.

So, when we sit utterly still, it's like we're going towards the center. "Okay, I'm going towards the center." I'm going from outside and in, there's a movement. Interesting. But once the center is reached, then there's no more distance or size. Size is gone. Once you reach the center, there's nowhere to go. As long as we are not centered, there's somewhere to go. We can go further out. We could go further in, go left or right. We could do many things, right? That's what we do in our life, right? We do many things. It's fun. Some of the things we do are not so fun, though. We try to avoid those things that are not so fun. We try to sneak around the uncomfortable things. But as we move in towards the center, at some point, there's no longer anywhere to go. Once the center is reached, how can you be more centered? So that's where form loses its meaning. Size loses its meaning. That's from where Divine consciousness is upwelling and it's infinite, right? It doesn't have size. So the center could be said to be very, very tiny little thing. You have a big thing here (pointing to the body). And then you have a tiny, tiny little middle point. But it doesn't have size. So, once it's reached, size is gone. It becomes infinite or even beyond infinite because Infinite is just another concept which is in opposition to what is finite. So it's not infinite, it's undefinable. It doesn't have size, doesn't have form. That is where I'm guiding you to, right? That's what we're searching for. And it's a place, or, it's not a place, but this is where words lose their power. Because they cannot describe it. We cannot even call it a state of consciousness. But still, let's just use the language that we have. And say that once we reach that state of awareness the potential is infinite. The potential for love, and joy, contentment, peace, happiness is infinite. And we become full of it. We become it. We don't even become full of it, we become it, and that is not like the gift you expect to find under the Christmas tree.

It's not this kind of thing that you get, and you unwrap, and you say "Wow. Amazing". It's such a tremendous grace, that cannot be translated into "wow, that was a wonderful gift. Thank you, thank you for that gift." You just can't thank enough. You can thank whoever you want to thank until infinity for that gift. You will just be in a constant state of gratitude and thankfulness for that, because it is always there. It was always there. And it will always be there for us. But we have to recognize it, we have to know it's there. And that's the hard part. That's the work. That's the practice. The meditation.

So, I'd like to just give you this kind of introduction to this way of seeing this, seeing yourself, seeing your potential, seeing the reality that you exist as. We don't exist IN reality; we exist AS reality. But we see only limited reality. We see only a limited version. Not the full reality, and who does? Who does? Like masters. They see a very much fuller version. But there are even levels of Master hood.

So, there's always a deeper depth to be realized, even for Masters, and for the Masters Master and the Masters, Masters, Master, and so on. But we are now here, and we can take the first step. We have that power; we have that potential and isn't it wonderful? That is why you are here. It is because you want to take that step. Just one step. I'm not saying you take one step, and boom! You're there. We take many small steps towards that. But what I feel like introducing you to here now, is both that insight that I just told you, but also that you develop a sense of feeling yourself into it. A sense of not being at a distance from this truth, not being some entity who is thinking and reasoning that this must be the truth. But rather, you get a sense that the truth flows through you, through every cell of your body. You become that truth. That it's unavoidable. You can't exist without this truth also existing. So, there's tremendous grace in that, when you see it, when you feel it, when you allow it. And the grace is what brings us there, it's actually not only our efforts. It is the grace. We think we're doing it. “Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm so good at meditating. I'll soon be there.” All that is just nonsense. That's just an ego talking. You're not here because you think you want to be a good meditator! Get a few stripes on your shoulder. “Yeah, I'm meditating. It's pretty cool.” It's not like that. It's okay, if you think like that. But I'm just saying, grace brought you here. Grace brought you to a point where you are hearing this. And I don't care where it comes from. How it looks like. It appears like this. I'm saying these words now. But what is most important is that you hear them, and you are in these circumstances. So that's grace already. That's already the first step. And there has been many steps before that, that you have already taken.

So you're well on the path already. And grace brings us every step of the way. Nothing is done by our own efforts alone. It's like water that runs downhill, it effortlessly runs downhill, right? It is its nature, and so it is with consciousness. Its nature is to awaken. We are like a leaf on the river flowing down stream and as sure as the water will run down stream and reach its destination in the ocean, as sure it is that the leaf will take the same route and the same destiny. But as a leaf we may think "oh, I'm a leaf and I can do many things and I think I'll just do this and do that", not realizing you're flowing on the river and everything that happens, happens in accordance with the Divine flow.